Divorce is a disrupting time. The upheaval may involve moving to a new home. Alternatively, it may require getting used to coming home to the same place with fewer or no people there. You may have new furniture, or less of the furniture you once had. As you take time to adjust to your new physical surroundings, understand that it may also take some time to adjust to the new you. Divorce is about change. That cannot be helped. However, change can be good. After divorce, many people report a time of rediscovery. Rediscovering yourself after divorce can be an exciting time – if you let it.
Rediscovering Foods You Love
It is not uncommon for couples to adapt their cooking or eating habits to accommodate another. Rediscovering yourself after divorce may include simple things such as what food you choose to eat, and how you prepare it. For example, many people think cilantro tastes like soap. If your ex spouse is one of those people, it wouldn’t be at all surprising if you had modified your cooking style while married to avoid adding “soap” to foods. Now that you are divorced, add cilantro, return to baking squash, or making other food accommodations to fit your life. Food can be a source of joy each day. Take the time to evaluate whether your same old diet is still the best choice for you.
Rediscovering Activities You Enjoy
You may have given up bicycling, painting, or marathon reading sessions when you got married, or after the kids arrived. Now is a time to rediscover things you enjoyed before. Whether it is catching up on the latest series that dropped on Netflix, taking a ballet class, or communing with nature, take some time to decide on an activity you used to love – or a new activity you might enjoy. You probably have more free time than you did when you were married. Take some time to consider what activities may bring you joy and give them a try. Activities that bring joy are an important part of healthy self care. They are also an important part of rediscovering yourself after divorce.
Rediscovering Your Space
Your living space is undoubtedly not the same as it was before. Whether you are missing some furniture or have a brand new set of everything, it is different than it was. Consider changing it up. Rearrange the furniture. Consider a fresh coat of paint on the walls. Re-evaluate the art and photos you have on display. You can make your space suit your personality. Many people find that redefining their space after a divorce is a positive message to themselves about their fresh start in life. Adjusting your space to reflect your new life can be a process, rather than an event. Take some time to consider your options. Move things about and see how the room feels. Then, perhaps, move things again. Creating your own new space can be a powerful way of rediscovering yourself after divorce.
Rediscovering Your Relationships
After your divorce, take some time to reconnect with people you may not have spent as much time with as you would like recently. It is not uncommon for people going through a divorce to detach themselves from friends and family. People report it just “seems easier” than either trying to keep up appearances or subjecting themselves to questions. Now that the divorce is done or almost done, consider reconnecting with those you may have fallen away from. Life is better with close relationships. Meeting friends to go to the farmer’s market, scheduling a walk with a family member, or meeting co-workers for happy hour are all simple but effective ways to connect and rebuild relationships. Rediscovering yourself after divorce includes rebuilding and enhancing relationships.
Rediscovering Your Self Talk
While you were married, you may have listened to your spouse’s messages – both good and bad. Whether your spouse thought you could accomplish something, thought a career mover was right or wrong for you, or had an opinion about where you might travel, it is natural to listen to your spouse’s opinion. After all, they are the one that knows you best, right? Rediscovering yourself after divorce includes rediscovering your own self talk. Be kind to yourself. Consciously make an effort to provide yourself messages and listen to them. Consider messages such as, “I can do this.” “I am worthy.” “I deserve self care.”
Rediscovering Yourself after Divorce
Finding out who you are, learning, growing, and changing is a life long process. There is no “right way” to rediscover who you are after your divorce. These are only a few suggestions of areas you could explore. Only you can decide what is the best path for you as you go forward into your new life, rediscovering yourself after divorce. Enjoy the journey.
If you are considering a divorce, contact the attorneys at Fait & DiLima. At Fait & DiLima, we focus exclusively on family law and divorce cases. Because of our focus, we are able to provide our clients with the benefit of our experiences. Contact the office today to schedule a consultation. We look forward to meeting with you and discussing your family law needs. Call (301) 888-6384 today.